If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize