So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
