I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
