yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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