Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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