I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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