when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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