Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
