i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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