i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
