I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
