Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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