He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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