Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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