So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
