some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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