chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
