I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
