I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
