bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
there was a trapeze. enough said
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
