Grow some girl-balls and come out already
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
