Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woke up backwards on a recliner
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I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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