I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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