dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
