i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
