i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
