did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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