The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
