ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
