Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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