38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
