I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize