My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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