I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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