I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
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Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
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There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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