I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
