Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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