wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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