had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
