Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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