I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
