I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
