At least make sure they are 18
Why
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Fuck appropriateness.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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