I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
