Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
