I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
what day is it and did you see me today?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
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Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
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Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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