so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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