Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
