I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
