my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
