I hope mine doesn't look like that
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
