did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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