He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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