So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
