we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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