There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
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I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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