It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
