Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
