she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
