I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize