i permit you to call me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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