i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
