Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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