My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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