I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
