Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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