As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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