you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No subtext here. People are naked.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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