I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
